Monday, September 3, 2012

Hugging a Vampire

Romans 12:18
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone

We all have life sucking people in our lives, that we all have to deal with. Not only out in the real world, but we also have the virtual vampires.
We deal with people in our present, and people in our past.
So I made a list of real life life-suckers that get on my last nerve, you can do the same..

1 people who always make with drawls but never deposits
2 people who are constantly moody, and rude
3 people who do not follow through on commitments
4 people who think whatever their dealing with is the most important thing in the world, a TRUE EMERGENCY
5 people who talk, and never listen.... the kind of person where you don't even wanna ask how their doing because it'll last about 45 min about some ache or pain
6 people who don't want to put much effort into something,
7 people who brag about accomplishments
8 people who constantly complain about situations, when actually they have it pretty great

.... vampires

but the number one life sucking, blood sucking vampire I have to deal with... is me.
Loving the people who suck the life out of you, starts by realizing how much you suck too... ouch, but its true. I suck the life out of people, I'm just as needy as all the lists of people I made. I suck too. We all suck. It starts with a self awareness, that I actually suck the life out of myself.

Romans 7:24
What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death?
Romans 5: 8
But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
1 Timothy 1:15
Here is a trustworthy saying that deservees full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.
Matthew 7:1-5
"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.
 Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye."
When it comes to judging others and helping others, you gotta make sure you put down the magnifying glass and put up the mirror. They say you can't see a vampire in the mirror, that's why its so difficult to let god shine the light on our hearts.

1 The first step to loving someone who sucks the life out of you, is saying "god without you I am truly nothing, without you I fall".
When you realize that it not only fills you with the humility to help others and the compassion to see others through the eyes that god sees them through. it gives you a security in yourself to know that you're not a superhero, you're just a fellow sinner in need of the grace of God. Then Jesus can really begin to work through life.
2 Before you can really reach out to anyone else, you have to define your own property lines.
If you want to put up a fence, you can't just guess where the fence should be... you can't just put it up, your neighbors have a yard too. People do not see the proper property lines of what is and what is not their responsibility under God. Christians should not be using barriers to keep people out, Christians should use boundaries or else the love of God wont be protected in our hearts and our lives and then we wont have anything to give. There is a tension here because we are taught to be like Jesus, and Jesus served everybody and loved everybody. but here's the thing you can give unconditional love without giving unrestricted access to everybody. it is not unbiblical or unloving to restrict a relationship, or have boundaries. its not unloving or unkind. Boundaries are BIBLICAL.
Pslam 1:1 NIV
Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers.
--> sounds like boundaries to me, this man who wants to be blessed has decided there are some people I can't be around and retain my relationship with God is saying there are some people that I can't give access to my heart or dreams or they will deter my destiny. . Its a boundary, its biblical.
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart,
for everything you do flows from it.
Being in college, I have had to establish many boundaries. Not only do I have my most important relationship with God, but I also have a boyfriend that I am serious about. People always call me to go the club or drink, but I can't keep answering those calls anymore if every time you call if you invite me to do something that is outside of the will of God.. Its a boundary. If I allow people to bring me down to where they are, into their dysfunction,  because i didn't have boundaries i couldn't have set an example for him, then that wouldn't be true love. That wouldn't be representing Christ, but because I put up a boundary up and said i love you, i will pray for you, i will be nice to you, and believe good things about you. but I can't come down there, I can't come into that drowning, thrashing life style many college people have created.
Matthew 18:15-17
“If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. (that means you don't need to text everybody, when one person offends you... you don't need an unlimited data plan to tell everyone, you go to them!) If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses. If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
--> that's a  boundary, Paul says that even stronger in Titus
Titus 3:10-11
Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.  You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.
God commanded for you to love everyone, is not permission to mismanage the investment that he has put inside of you. and sometimes because your a limited resource, and your not god, you mismanage what god has put inside of you..Because you spend time helping people who need help, you can't help people who need help, you can only help people that want help. Say a new sex offender came to a church, would it be right for the church to love him? yes. Would it be right for him to be in the kids ministry? No. because we have to protect things that are valuable. Loving people equally, does not mean having equal access. Here's my point, you have to clearly define the perimeters of access because the boundaries that you set are determined on the nature of the relationship. SO there are certain relationship in your life that are permanent, you don't get to walk away because it gets a little tough. Jesus said what god join together, let not man separate. but you can contradict that and say what god has separated, let not man separate. You gotta have boundaries, you gotta learn to cut your grass. There are exterior boundaries. If someone is physically abusing you, you don't just call on Jesus, you call on the police! There's a manipulation that you're suppose to love them, but some people you can love better long distance. Jesus needs to hug that person for you, and it's for a purpose so that you can have a boundary in your life. If you can't put the boundary in the interior, you have to put one in the exterior.
Galations 6:1-5
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves (boundary), or you also may be tempted. Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not (back to first point), they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions (your property line). Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, For each one should carry their own load.
Now wait, in verse 2 Paul said to carry each others burdens, you told me in verse 5 that I need to carry my own load. but the thing is it's both, because there are certain things you can do for people, and other things you could never do for people end wisdom is knowing the difference in the two.
I can help someone bury their burden but I can't carry the load for them.
cause that's all that will do is make you depend on me, rather than depending on God. That will make you weak, instead of strong.
 "Its not he load that breaks you down, its how you carry it."

3 you've got to stay full of God's presence yourself or you wont have anything to give to everybody else
Say I'm invited to a party or event or dinner and I don't know exactly what their going to be serving, I do something crucial before I leave. I eat enough food before so I wont be starving when I get there, in case they don't make enough, or they can't cook. So i don't want to run into a situation where they don't have enough to feed myself or I don't like what they cook, but that's alright because I already ate. So I'm straight for whatever I encounter when I get that event that's uncertain. that's what I try to do every day with my relationship with god. that way when I encounter these events that may drain me or deplete me, that way if they don't feed me any love, encouragement, support... that's cool, because I already ate before I got here.

people who are truly able to show the love of God, are people who believe the best about others, but need the least from them.
xoxoxo, shelby! 
Inspiration from Pastor Steven Furtick from Elevation Church, in his series How to Hug a Vampire 

1 comment:

  1. Glad to hear and read that you got so much out of Pastor Steven's sermon! (I Iistened to this podcast on Friday for like the 10th time) We all need to recognize that we all "suck"!! Haaa!
    You do such a good job writing on your blog!
    I love you!
    ~~~aunt rhonda~~~